My Path....Part 1

When I was little and growing up in California I had a desire. I don't know where it came from or why at such a young age it had even crossed my mind, but none-the-less this desire just grew and grew. My youthful desire was to live in New York City. While my friends were playing traditional house with their barbies or baby dolls (you know, mom, dad, baby). My house was a little different. My barbie was a lawyer, living in a very nice and spacious penthouse in NYC! I didn't have a husband, I had a boyfriend that would come over when I wanted him to and then leave when I wanted him to. This was so he didn't cramp my work style. I would attend lavish parties, go to Broadway shows and travel! I know quite an interesting fantasy for an 8 year old. I just knew that one day I would end up in Manhattan!



Well, life didn't exactly go the way I had planned it all those years ago. For one thing, as I grew-up I realized that I was a bit of a chicken. I didn't quite have it in me to move to NYC all by myself, it made me nervous. So, I decided to do it slowly, my first step would be to go to college and get my BA in Political Science, by then I figured I'd have enough guts to move down to The City and go to Law School. So I went to school (with a few hiccups in the beginning), I had no desire to get married or have children, I was school and work oriented.



Then something happened. God got involved, I won't go into detail here, but it was made very clear to me that the path I was heading down was not the path that I was supposed to be taking. My destiny was to be a wife and a mother, not immediately (don't worry I didn't start interviewing for husbands!) but someday, and the path I was currently on was not going to be conducive to that goal. It was very hard for me to make the decision to leave the current school that I was at and move. And even harder to give up that long ago childhood desire (that I still had by-the-way). But I did, with the determination to still one day make it to NYC. So, I moved, got a job, got some roommates, found my future husband (well, he found me).....or so I thought. When that relationship fell apart I was left with a broken heart and many questions. I thought I was doing what I was supposed to? I'd changed my path right? So what now?!



While I wallowed in my misery and broken heart, I made some bad decisions. I was angry that my life wasn't in the place I wanted it to be. I was mad at God for making me move, for giving up college, for bringing me to a place where I was just going to be hurt. And then I realized that it wasn't my Heavenly Father's fault at all. Just because I'd listened to what I was supposed to do in the beginning didn't mean that he was going to map out the rest of my life for me. I still was responsible for making wise choices and maybe the current path, while initially going in the right direction had taken a few detours that veered me off my destined path.



And then I saw it, an ad in the paper for a Nanny! And guess where they lived?! Long Island, NY. Just outside of NYC! It felt right, I made the call, I got the job! And the next thing I knew I was on a plane, on a plane to New York!!! I could hardly contain my excitement. I had visions in my head of the family I would be working for. I just knew they lived in huge house, drove fancy cars and traveled all the time. I just knew I would get to see Broadway shows and travel abroad with them. I wasn't too excited about taking care of someone elses kids, but if this was my vehicle to get to NYC then I'd do what I had to. And again it just felt right.



The next part to come later.........Sorry to bore you all with this, but I wanted to write this down more for my children to someday read, then for anything else. One day I will get my blog printed into a book, this is my form of a journal.