Family.....

No pictures today...I'm feeling a bit lazy and I really should be in bed. But I did want to get my post in for the day. I spent the night fighting with my husband (yes believe it or not we do fight! haha!), making Christmas gifts for Olivia's teachers (pictures to follow tomorrow) and fighting with my brother (that one is no surprise) I think we've been fighting our entire lives and I often wonder if we will ever grow-up and if he'll ever realize that we're not kids anymore.

You know I love the idea of family. I have a large one, I'm one of 7 and I suppose coming from a divorced family who rarely got to see the extended clan, I have clung very close to my family over the years. I've come to the conclusion though that it's just not that important to the rest of them. So, why do I bother, honestly I don't know. I don't know why I get upset that not everyone wants to be together for the holidays. Or to change our plans when the opportunity arises for a majority of the group to get together, to meet someplace in the middle for the cousins to play and to get a family picture. The last time ALL of my family was together was at my wedding, almost 9 yrs ago. We are all spread out, all in different areas of the country Texas, Florida, Utah, Missouri, Hawaii, North Carolina and so yes it is a sacrifice and a challenge to see each other, but it's just not a priority to some and I don't know how to be okay with that. I guess with all the things that have happened to friends and family this year I just keep thinking how in a moment one of them could be gone. And then what....?

I truly believe that God put us on this earth in Family units for a reason. Just because we grow-up and have families of our own doesn't mean that we get to forget about the rest of them. right? Yes, of course our first priority is our immediate family, but we still have brothers, sisters, parents. Life changes, responsibilities change, yet does our ties with our family need to suffer because of that? Is this just a part of life that I didn't get the memo for? I don't know I think my heart is becoming hard to the it. I think I'm just realizing that maybe it doesn't matter, maybe my husband and my children are all that i need. That actually makes me sad to even think about....My kids need their cousins, their Aunts and their Uncles. Oh and of course their Grandparents. But I'm exhausted in caring, I'm tired of being upset...one thing I am glad of I have GREAT friends! And my sister and SIL are pretty fabulous too! Well, off to bed I go. Off to snuggle (okay not really, we have a king bed and we like our sides!) with my honey. Off to end one day and start another, another day where I have my beautiful girls and my sweet husband...I guess they are really all I need...