Life Lessons

When did I officially become a grown-up? Was it when I graduated from High School? Moved half way across the country from my parents? Got married? Had my first child? Had my third? Turned 30? Turned 31? I don't know when it happened, I suppose many days I still don't feel like a grown-up. And then I look at where I am in life and then realize I must be grown-up. I'm responsible for three kids, a husband and a dog. On any given day I'm battling with the post office, the bank or running one of the kids or myself to the doctors office. Yep must be a grown-up. But it wasn't until this year that I real feel like I'm really living in an adult world with issues that you know only adults have to deal with. I loved being a kid there were no worries. And now as adults we have all of these things to deal with. This year has been a year of so many trials in my life and in the lives of some good friends. Collectively we've dealt with the near death of a child, death of a spouse, divorce, foreclosure, custody battles, loss of jobs, strained friendships and cancer. I am grateful that my little family is safe and healthy and happy, but the life surrounding us is so chaotic....it's grown-up stuff, and I know it's necessary to our existence. We must know pain and unhappiness to really appreciate and know love and joy and happiness. But some days I want those innocent days back, those days of playing on the blacktop at school, those days of sleepovers and walking home from school. Those days when my parents could leave us home all day during the summer and not worry about us. Life as an adult is too complicated, too stressful!

But I'm not all full of complaints...there are some great things to being an adult staying up as late as you want, having two scoops of ice cream or three, and eating it at 10 o'clock at night if you want to!

I am amazed at the strength that comes with adulthood though. People often say to me 'I don't know how you do it?' And I think 'do what?' You just do, you just do whatever it takes to get you through the moment. But I do the same, I look at the strength of the amazing women in my life and ask the same thing..."how do you do it?" How do you deal day to day with the loss of a husband, a marriage, your home, your job. And the answer is the same..'You just do.' They give me strength, they give me hope. I learned this year a lot about not sweating the small stuff, life can always be harder, it can always be sadder. But my life is good and I sometimes forget that. No I'm not a kid anymore, I'm an adult living in an adult world with stresses, sadness, pain. But we plug along with the strength we garner from those around us, those we chose to surround ourselves with. I am sad for all the pain and sadness that this year has brought to so many of you that I love, but you have taught me so much. You're strength in these 'adult' situations has not gone unnoticed your examples and actions buoy me up when I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. If I have to life in this adult world, I'm glad that you are all here in it with me!